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I always thought it a little strange that my boyfriend (now-ex) wanted to be involved in everything I did, but dismissed his behavior because it was nice to have an extra pair of hands in my exceptionally chaotic life. Now I know why it always rubbed me the wrong way. He needed a project that he could fix, control, maintain, whatever. He didn’t see me as anything but a puzzle to be manipulated and solved. When he finally started to see a therapist, she verified my suspicions.
A word to the wise: any guy who wants to swoop in and help with EVERYTHING–to the point where you find yourself sort of sitting back and watching it all happen–is not a saint. He is actually a control freak who needs to solve your issues because he can’t deal with his own. Run immediately in the other direction.
I was walking through a grocery store at 9 AM shopping for breakfast. It is perfectly
normal to pass by the same person once or twice as you walk up and down the aisles. However, it is not normal to be followed down aisles. A man in his 40’s (I am in my early 20’s) seemed to not only be tailing me, but putting the exact same things in his cart. I didn’t want to make eye contact because I figured that would encourage him. So, I continued along with my eyes glued straight ahead.
As I was picking out fruit, he parked his cart next to mine and approached. While I usually find being hit-on charming, his curly hair was still dripping and his chest completely covered in sweat from his morning run. I swear, there was actual steam rising from his head. I could hardly pay attention to the line he dropped, because he was sporting skin-tight yellow running shorts. Guys: if I can see the outline of your banana, it is not the best time to hit on me.
Red flag if you tell the guy you’re
dating that your relationship can’t be just about the sex, and he
asks in reply, “Why not?” Unless you think you can keep sleeping with him with no expectations of the relationship developing into something more (I, for one, cannot do this), probably a good idea to bounce.
Christmas was coming up and my girlfriend of
three years decided it was
essential that we send out a joint holiday card. Which would have been fine, I guess, if she didn’t get the idea solely because my brother and
his girlfriend were doing so and since they hadn’t been together as long, if
we didn’t send out
cards it meant I didn’t really love her or something. I thought the whole thing was pretty stupid–we weren’t married or even engaged–but I complied to make her happy. We ordered about 500 cards and sent them to every person we could possibly think off–even people we hadn’t talked to in years. What was really going on was she was jealous of my brother and his girlfriend, and also trying to keep up with her soon-to-be married sorority sisters. We broke up a year later and I still have about 200 stupid Christmas cards with our picture on them.
Kind of a red flag when you’re in a new relationship and your girlfriend (to whom you have never spoken about marriage) tells you the types of behaviors she will and will not accept when you two are married … talk about seeing red.
I met this guy on the beach in the Bahamas, and we ended up talking on the beach. Then we started making out (how could you not on the white sand, under the stars, in the Bahamas?). I knew he wasn’t the best person to be alone with when he covered my mouth and said, “No one could hear you scream if I raped you right now.” Seriously? WTF? My dreamy Bahamas night ended quickly after.
2 comments Labels: First Impressions, FLAGS ABOUT BOYS, Travel 
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